Good Books Perhaps?

I am going to download the book from the PTSD forum listed below. However, I have just bought 'Overcoming Traumatic Stress' by Claudia Herbert and Ann Wetmore which looks very informative and readable. I also bought The PTSD Workbook by Mary Beth Williams and Soili Poijula. I'm not so sure that it looks so favourable, as the format seems somewhat irritating. However, nothing ventured? If you have read any particularly helpful books it would be nice to know.

Millie

Hi Millie

The most useful book for my has been 'Waking the Tiger' (see my post in this section for details)

I've also found 'Focusing' by Eugene T Glendlin useful on days when I get 'stuck' & can't work out what I'm feeling.

For relaxation my counsellor suggested I try meditation so I started by reading 'the breath' by Vessantara. Its a clear instruction on Buddhist breathing meditation without going to deeply into Buddhism. Very easy to read & I find focusing on my breathing is useful in reducing my anxiety.

Rosie

Hello Millie,

I have downloaded the book from this site and can say it is extremely interesting, I'm sure you and your husband will find it very helpful.

'Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,The Invisible Injury', by David Kinchin, has also been an absolute godsend to me. I developed ptsd 4 years ago, before this site existed. I had never heard of the injury (not illness), but the book helped me to understand something of what had happened to me. The author isn't a medical expert, he is someone who overcame ptsd, and I have a lot more confidence in a fellow sufferer than any psychologist or similar who has never been there and pretends to understand, when it's clear they have no idea.
Good luck,
Juli.

Thank you so much to both of you. I have now downloaded the book from the website and we are going to get it printed, it looks really good, and my husband likes it a lot because he says it makes other people sound like him! I have now ordered the other books from Amazon. Not everything is applicable to everyone, and you find, or I find, that if you pick and choose a bit from here and there you can find all sorts of coping mechanisms that make sense to you personally. When I had my son I ordered every book on the market as the hospital had neglected the instruction manual, and found half of them useful, loads rubbish, and some great items born of good sense from others. I'm hoping ptsd might be the same. When my husband has been getting fraught, we look at some books or this sight together and it seems to make him feel better, and certainly less isolated. So something positive is happening. Isn't it?
Millie

Hello Millie,

I'm pleased I've been of help to you, but I'm much more pleased to hear that you and your husband are now communicating again. It must be a weight off your shouders and such a relief.

I describe ptsd as being a strong spring on a door which, every so often, opens just enough to give a glimpse inside and allows others inside, but then quite unexpectedly, and for no particular reason, it suddenly slams shut again. That's one of the perks of ptsd I'm afraid, I've been guilty of that myself, and I know I've hurt my family by doing it.

When that happens it's just a matter of waiting for the spring to give a little to allow another glimpse inside, instead of hammering on the outside of the door when no one is there to open it. That's what causes most upset and frustration to people, the fact that they desperately want to get in, because they want to help and to understand, but the door is firmly closed.

Believe me, it's no fun at all being on the other side of the door. We want to get out as much as others want to get in, but something stops us. Keep persevering, be strong, and the best of luck.

Rosie, I'm going to order 'Focusing', thanks for that.
Take care both,
Juli.

Juli,

That is an exactly true description, the metal gate is a perfect idea (a metal gate also being something that can trap the unwary). One min husband is there, and the next he's disassociated, and his head is in the ether. The really good thing, is that we are really trying to open up and discuss it now, and I'm trying to pin him down as to when he's feeling bad. Yesterday, he wanted, not me, to go to a car boot sale, and then he was horrific in the afternoon, and we have pinned down that any form of crowd brings him out in a do dah! Great, but now I feel I'm getting somewhere. He only came home on Wednesday, but so far we have had no temper explosions, no complete meltdowns, and everytime he's been going off somewhere mentally I've managed to get him back again. I know Rome wasn't built in a day, but I really am feeling more hopeful. Also, he's got his first session on Wednesday with a psycotherapist, he's absolutely terrified, but getting there! The last eighteen months I've been living with a not too nice person, and sometimes been scared wittless, but this weekend I've met my gentle pleasant husband again, and it's been such a pleasure. He's even been looking me in the eye when he talks to me, it's such a pleasure!
Millie

Hello Millie,

It's obvious to anyone reading your posts that you think the absoute world of your husband. A lot of pople would have run away a long time before now. I see that you care for him a great deal.
You don't need me to tell you that things might change in the blink of an eye, with no apparent reason, and you'll find yourself back in the blackness again, but your husband will be experiencing things twice as black, be feeling absolutely dreadfully ill, and probably almost physically hurting with trying to understand what he is experiencing.
He's very lucky that he has you there to share the nightmares with, if he is able. That surely must make him feel a bit less alone and isolated with it all.
Enjoy the good days, go with the flow through the bad ones. The good ones will come again tomorrow.
Take care,
Juli.

I recommend the book Invisible Heroes -Survivors of Trauma and how they heal by Belleruth Naparstek. I have read so many books about anxiety and trauma but this one was a real revelation. Things that I had been asking my shrink about for years were explained as common symptoms of ptsd. Knowing that others have near identical experiences helped to restore my self belief as well as helping me to understand what has and is still happening inside my mind and body.

I like the sound of the book Focusing so I may look it up.
Thanks
S