Looking for some advice

Hi I'm new to this site and looking for some help. I'm unsure if I have PTSD as not been diagnosed, and I don't suffer all the symptoms most people seem to do (I don't have nightmares and flashbacks), but I do seem to have alot of the stuff.

I was in a car accident a couple of years ago, me and the driver lived but my best friend, and her partner died, I broke my back, but am fully recovered. I had some counselling and stuff but mainly for losing my friend. My problem is that I am terrified now being a passenger in a car - everyone tells me this is normal, but after 2 years it really feels like a problem to me!!! My doctor prescribed me oxazepam for occasional use, but I have to save these in case I have to go in the car with a stranger, which leaves me constantly thinking the worst on normal car journeys, and always asking my partner to slow down, or telling him there is a bend in the road, which is stressful for both of us. I also think about the accident alot of the time, not horrific visions or anything, it is just on my mind, and there have been times when I felt like it should have been me and not my friend, I also feel guilty because she was sitting next to me, but I never looked to see her when the accident happened - I know I could have done nothing, and it might seem a bit morbid, but I really do feel guilty for not having looked to see her before I got out.

I don't know if anyone can help, but if anyone has any tips on what I can do in the way of helping me get through this I would be really grateful.

Hello Kim,

Thank you for sharing your experience. I myself have experienced something where I survived and someone else died. I did feel very guilty thinking it should have been me! However looking back on the event it was not my fault what happened as I am sure you in turn hopefully will one day realise it was not your fault either.

In a way it does not matter what I say or anyone else says to make you take away any doubt in your mind of guilt-you alone have to find that and when you do your get better.

With regards to fear of being in cars, you are not alone. I am the first to say slow down or be careful of the pedestrian ahead looking to cross the road!

To me you have anxiety which is normal under the circumstances, in addition like me you are looking constantly for danger which in itself is a cause of PTSD.

I have had to make peace with myself and I hope you will to.

Peter